Straight from the heart..........8..........(The International Postgrad syndrome!)

Your son’s completed BE, has he not? So, when does he plan to apply for MS?” This is a common question I faced after my son had completed his BE, as if it were the only thing to do, naturally , after a graduation in Engineering.

I have been thinking, ever since my son entered his Engineering College as to why are we, Indians, so hell bent on pushing our children to the USA/Europe or somewhere abroad? Is it really for that education and learning or from a craze of having a child settling down in the USA/Europe or somewhere abroad? Especially because the children, after they qualify, generally do not return.

Many of us will argue here and justify about the ‘quality’  of life, relevant of these countries, but is the life in India so bad that you chuck away the roots of your base existence for all those material comforts, calling your very own country dirty and non-worthy  of  your residence, when you prefer to being second-class citizens with "dignity", elsewhere???......A country looked up to, by the whole world for its sound  cultural heritage and other deep-rooted values??. And is it not from this very country you qualified with the minimum that is required of an MS or equivalent outside?

Long ago, there was an opinion of not enough opportunities in this country. In the time, when we graduated, this arguement still held good, but is it the same today? Are there not enough opportunities and scope in various other  fields as well, which did not even exist some thirty odd years ago?

Under the circumstances, what then is the ‘carrot’ that pushes most of our youth to these countries? I wonder how many of the children, residents for centuries by reasons of their origin,  from these very countries   pursue an MS?  My guess is that more than 75% of their MS revenue comes from Indians!! Does that not speak for the prosperity of our "developing' nation?

And with pride I say, we have Indian parents working hard to meet the education requirements of their children by earning in rupees, in India, and paying in dollars!! An earning made from their basic education in India and Indian rupees!! Not all these parents have an MS themselves!!Infact, these parents are from those times, when there were not enough opportunities in our very own 'developing' nation....They are an example on values worth a mention here ......about how hardwork and dedication can never go wrong!!

Another question that comes to the mind is, are all  MS grads, now settled in the USA/Europe/elsewhere, capable of educating their children in that same way? Especially under the  Economic scenario  which is true of these countries  today? And opportunities there? Are they the same as they were thirty years ago? Inspite of it all, what is the big attraction of a post-grad outside? Sadly, I find, it is more the parents drive than that of their  children,  of pushing the child towards an international post-graduation!

Personally, I am an academic freak myself, with an utmost love for every child  to have the best education, at all costs! But certainly not freaky enough to push him somewhere, beyond his/her wish to acquire somethingwhich would take them away forever from that, which is the really what this life is all about!!

No, I have no wish that they cling on to us for everything......but the bonding with family and friends that they grew up with, the World that they love and was theirs once, the warmth and comfort of their loved ones, that they seek from time to time, the secure feeling of their elders being at a stone’s throw, should they ever need them, all this and more,  should not be lost to them, certainly not for some cold material possessions!

Lines from Pankaj Udhas’s song “chitthi aayi hai.... ..” are  sweet and  powerful, meaningful and they sum up the above just so simply!!

“Pahale Jab Tuu Khat Likhata tha

Kaagaz Men Cheharaa Dikha taa Thaa
Band Huaa Ye Mel Bhii Ab To,

Khatam Huaa Ye Khel Bhii Ab To”

“Tuune Paisaa Bahut Kamaayaa,

Is Paise Ne Desh Chhudaayaa
Panchhii Pinjaraa Tod Ke Aajaa,

Desh Paraayaa Chhod Ke Aajaa
Aajaa Umar Bahut Hai Chhotii,

Apane Ghar Men Bhii Hain Rotii,”

My very own poetry book............7.............Cyclone Phailin

Uprooted trees, overturned trucks,  dead power  lines on pole

Almost  12 million humans tormented,  death numbers  taking  toll

All because Mother Nature, had played her  vital role

In causing Cyclone Phailin to injure every soul!

At  220 kilometres per hour speed , it struck ‘Odisha’ ground,

Damages caused thereafter, no place else  to be found!!

Cos two lakh dwelling houses , two lakhs of agri land,

Disappeared in a jiffy with the wave of the  “Phailin “wand

The Defence forces deployed,   to help out day and night

In evacuating so many,  they had put up a brave fight

Inspite  of  all the valor displayed,  should  efforts go in vain

Or will then, those be nurtured , who  dwell in  grief and pain!

My very own poetry-book......6..................The Muse.

In the corner of  an old museum,  lay this very old crate ,

With olden golden artifacts,  and statues  delicate

Inquisitive  was I to see why they  were of  no use

To my pleasant surprise, in it, I found this pretty little  “muse”

Dressed in a robe  of  exquisite fabric,  on her  head a crown of gold

She seemed to be gazing at the violin in her hand, which, however looked old

The bed she sat, weaved in  golden  straw,  the quilt that lay on it too,

The   litte dog that sat beside,  seemed to watch her every move.

I looked up here and there  to see, if someone was around,

Sure now that I was alone, I swung her up, on the ground

How long had she been there now, I started to wonder,

Only   a year or two was  it,  or many years yonder?

Gazing at her intently, I wished to know her tale,

As also of the sculptor who carved this damsel  frail

Which child of Zeus and Mnemosyne, did he have in  his mind?

Of all their nine daughters, which one was of his kind?

Was she the one from  Literature or Science or from Art?

Or  was she  just a “water nymph”  he sculpted part by part?                                                          

Greek goddesses these  Muses are, their  tales as child, I'd heard,

For source of inspiration they’re known,  in myths or in  poet’s words.

Why  does it feel,  standing there , that she may come to life?

Or the  silent hall re-sounding, with her violin strumming rife

Would she walk away from here then,  to where she’s meant to be?

To the heavenly  abode where her  heart  is, to her World of melody?

And what about the sculptor,  the one who carved her  charm

Was he still  somwhere around here, or had he come to any  harm

If only could I meet him someday,  for over an hour  or two

To hear his tale of this creation and give him his deserved due!!

(C) Archana Tambe

My very own poetry-book......5..................In retrospect!

Watching  the evening Sun on the beach,  one  cold wintry day,

My thoughts drifted to the past, in a soft and breezy way

Some memories so vivid and clear, some so dull and hazy,

Enough though to paint before, a picture bright and rosy!

With schoolbag in her hand and hair tied in pigtails,

Off  to School and friends she went,  to share her girly tales,

where a  life she lived and thought, was her centre-stage,

Oh what a time that it  was, what an era, what an age!

At every  School  event, her participation was a must,

Tried to put on a great show, no talent  she let  rust!

Her strength were her parents,  encouraging to the core

“never will  I let them down,” was something to herself, she swore.

That she was true to her oath, was something she did prove,

Honoured by School  as the Best-student, what more could she do?

But  honour brings with it, responsibility of a lifetime to shoulder

A character to hold upright and never to let it molder

Thus school days  soon  over, College days came on,

New horizons to   conquer,  olds bygone;

To struggle just as hard once more, to ignore power or pelf,

To do  all  those things just as right, to be able to boost herself.

Lots and lots of work then, and  also  lots of play,

Moments were  so joyous, moments  were so gay,

Thus rolled on sweet  Life,  but all good things must end

Once again the” best student,” here,   her onward  “life” to fend

In all these lovely years,  she realizes today,

T’was the family and friends, that helped her make her  way

Pray , who is this girl then, whose tale I am writing?

Gosh, none other than  ‘me’ it is,  with my continued spirit of fighting.

Fortunate, am I not then, to have a family so loving and devoted?

No wonder then, that I stand so tall, with my values so deep-rooted!

Straight from the heart.............7.............(Domestic chore...whose task?)

 Sometime ago, I was visiting some of my friends.  One of the friend’s children a boy and a girl, now  grown ups, working at their respective jobs were in a heated discussion. I have seen these  kids grow and more out of the friendly relation we share, I intervened to find out what their topic of this heated discussion was.  I wasn’t very surprised, though, to learn about it. It was the most common situation seen with the young working couples of today ie in a marriage, which of the two, must take on the domestic chores since both were almost equally qualified, both worked fulltime and both reached home, almost at the same time. And all this, when they are still to begin on family!!!!

I have seen so many of these couples adjust with each other in whatever ways they can, when they live alone ie as a nuclear family but when they are subjected to adjustment in a joint family system, problems start cropping up, as the “lady” in such situation is expected to take on all of the domestic responsibilities, never mind, how much and how hard she works outside of home. Of course, there are some girls who manage all of that and how, some willingly too,  while some others, maybe a little grudgingly, and why not??

Everything in the environment is slowly and steadily changing, so isn’t it time that we too change the age old customs with which a boy and girl were brought up sometime ago? Yes, few of the elders in many such joint  families, today, have accepted this fact and we therefore see that the  older women in many a home, do  try and help out their working daughters-in-law, in whichever way they can!! But still, a major portion of  our Society’s  older generation are driven to believe that whatever a lady may take up to endeavour outside of her home, the domestic chores have been, are and should be, only and only her responsibility. “Sons will be sons and men will be men” is what these people are bound to say. Now whatever does that mean? Today, a girl spends an equal amount of time and effort to acquire the degree that these “sons” and “men” do!!Therefore , she too aspires to make it big in her chosen field of work, as much as  the boy does. Therefore, she not only needs but deserves to be helped out by her husband as well as others in her family,in  all the domestic chores!

Having said this this in her favour,   more so, because of need of change expected to be seen  in the  behaviour of present day family system, does it mean it is alright for her to deny all her domestic responsibilities and feign complete ignorance about them? I know of some girls who  take pride in saying that they neither know to cook nor do other house chores.  “I am an Engineer or Doctor  or 'some other professional', you know,” they say (as if what they qualified to be is unique and the only thing required to be done in this life(?)) and therefore I have never had the time to learn to cook or be familiar with any household chores. In fact, I have never done any domestic chores in my home before I was married!!" True that this could possibly have been a very difficult time to manage “educating” oneself both ways, but, sometime later,  would it not be necessary to be as competent and qualified in this 'career'  as much as in a 'career' of their choice?

Aren’t our very basic necessities food, clothing and shelter? Yes, we do have restaurants, dabbas, dhabas etc to cater to our food arrangements as a couple alone, but will this continue even after we begin our family? Would we have our infants and todlers eat  foodstuffs from the outside? Would these “qualified” parents have enough time to learn about coping with these “life learnings” with a growing family, when they  did not seem to have enough time in all their years of growing up?

So then, will the 'Parents' of these boys and girls  insist on these “learnings” without pampering their “professional education seeking wards” ?? Because, as I see, it is not only the  children but also the parents who have a casual approach towards this attitude of their “work shirking” children. Instead of downloading domestic tasks on their children from a very young age, they protect their wards from even getting exposed to them. I know of some people that find it weird that a child has to be taught to   shop for the daily vegetables and groceries. They feel that asking their child to do a domestic task will put the child off from their studies. Both the girl and the boy children are heavily pampered!!! I think we, as parents are equally responsible for seeing that both our children are brought-up in the same way in respect of everything, be it education or be it the domestic chores! We cannot expect to take stands only when issues wrt the above crop up in their marriage. Today, it is more important that the parents make their wards understand that there is no difference between their boy-child or girl-child, that there are no defined codes of domestic responsibilities, rather “sharing” them together lovingly as one unit will go a long way in  creating a strong familial bond. It is not the “who” but the “how” that will make happy homes.

Just as the “ working wife” will partner her husband in all fiscal matters of making a home, the “working husband” too must do his bit in sharing the domestic chores for the family, not to mention, the children coming in later, must, also be moulded in to contribute their bit and gradually to take on these “true and necessary life learnings”.

Having said all this for and about the “educated and both working” class of the young, let us also not forget the fulltime housewife, the woman having the “ultimate career” of them all!!!......That she does not work outside of home , does not mean that she is any less occupied!  Infact her duties are both timeless and thankless!! She is on duty right from the moment she wakes up till the time she can finally make it to bed and call it a day!! Please do not think that she does not need you all to put in your bit to help her help you each day.

In the words of C.S.Lewis,

"“The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only - and that is to support the ultimate career. ” 

My very own poetry-book......4..................Silver bounty

Silver bounty

Have you walked in the dark, on a moonlit night?

With the silver shine making all things bright?

Has the beauty of that moon, ever touched you so

That it completely grips you, from head to toe?

Have you felt like reaching out, to embrace this silver moon,

Whose intoxicating silver charm, makes you almost swoon?

Have you thought of your love, being beside you then?

Or love appearing suddenly, on a quick count of ten?

Has “her” beauty dazzled you so, that you continue to stare?

No pangs of hunger nor thirst,  no, nothing to beware?

Did you gaze at yourself then, or the silver in your hair,

Or the silver trees with silver leaves , silver everywhere?

Just beyond this  road you walk, a silver beach you will see,

Further on, as you go by, silver waves will greet ye!

Priceless than, isn’t this silver, that money cannot buy?

No GoldMarts can display this, its only in the sky!!

No shopping for this silver then, no going on a spree,

This beautiful Nature’s bounty, bestowed on us for free

Storytimes: FB 5 : Straight from the heart ......3..........Fr...

Storytimes: FB 5 : Straight from the heart ......3..........Fr...: Just a few days ago, a young friend of mine asked me to write about how much people were getting addicted to "virtual friendships&...