Monday, 7 October 2013

STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART.......6.......(Are we really be Masters of our "own will"?)

A couple of day ago, I saw this movie named Rush.....Most of you reading this one, already must have seen and read a thousand good reviews about this movie.  The passion, grit , determination and above all, “a strong will” makes this movie more than just “inspiring”, true,  but after I watched it, what I realised apart from all of this was what was it that most of our Country’s youth of today  and the future of tomorrow, our little men and women, lack!!!! And I find , it is nothing but the power to be the “masters” of their own will and be able to follow and live up to that!!
And all not because they dont have a "wiil", but  because of the a solid family-value based,  strong traditional culture following and an equally responsible social and political environment  which makes up for the Society we live in!!
Every child grows up with a dream of who he/she would like to be in the years to come. Professions coming only out of academics is not every person’s  dream, rather, barring a few,  in that young age one would like to be just anything , that does not  require a person to  have to dig in their  giant-sized, uninteresting  books, all the time........ Not to mention that most of us parents too wish we could let the child just take on their dream and live it.
But in reality, does this happen? How many common children we know who liked to be musicians, dancers, sports persons, artists , actors and so on so forth actually get there? At some point in the earlier stage of life, when we have seen/met them , we have see that passion oozing out of them, for that , which they aspire to be!!! Why then, after some time, is this all replaced by only academic degrees and jobs for most? And when I say this, I am not talking of those few children,  who have the strong  emotional, financial and every other support and backing,  from their immediate well-to-do family and/or friends  neither am I speaking of the child prodigees. I am talking of the "common  child" of a “common man” who works 24x7x365 and who has also every  “right” to his/her own dreams.
So then what really happens that the child has to be dragged back to thinking  not about “living a life” but “making a life” for themselves? My thoughts around it pushes me to draw the following conclusions:
1  1) In India, there is nothing as important as getting an academic degree because , getting a degree means you will surely get a “job” of sorts and that will ensure that you “make your life”, somehow!!! Doing anything different form this “set-code” means taking a very big risk. What if walking on the path of one's choice,  you fail in the eyes of the World, your peers and you  don’t earn enough to sustain for yourself and your family?  Of course, today, due to media exposure, reality shows etc , wherein they   show children participating and winning dance, acting, music, photography,  cookery etc  , both parents and the children are motivated to resort  to other options but the question of  whether this would finally result in carving  “livelihood”  remains like a hundred , nay, thousand dollar question!
2    2)In some rich orthodox families, even  if the child has both a passion and a flair and wants to give a try to his dream, will the traditional families allow them without threatening the child with dire consequences like   being thrown out of the family and family inheritance  or boycotted or some such equally ruthless act. Remember the Hindi classic ,"Parichay" days?
3    3) If  a child does decide to “act” as per their  will,  are the government and other bodies geared with enough equipment to support this dream vide monetary assistance to him/her if and when required at any stage? ie would, they ,at least, provide for the basic necessities for  survival of this child,  as and when required, right from the time he/she starts till the stage he/she settles down in the passion and makes the best of it? Would it provide some kind of reassurance to the parents that there is nothing to fear wrt the future of this child?
4   4)Can “emotional blackmail”to the child  be avoided by the family? In some families a child is not even allowed to join “Defence Services” leave alone, pursue another  line.
y The  point I am making here is , the West where the young (in their early teens  too) are the “masters” of  their own will , unafraid of  what the future will be and living by the day is because the socio-political environmental factors are so very conducive to their approach towards life. The family bonding too isvery different from  her, because it is commonplace for the children,  in the first place, to leave their homes very early and to take on the responsibility of their own life . On the other hand, In our country, we are molly-cuddling children even after they have attained adulthood and the children too thrive in it....They choose to be "adults" or then, "dependants"  as per convenience of which of these suits them best at a given point of time!!!
 Therefore, by and large, in our type of countries, such grit, motivation , determination and passion along with one’s own strong will is found  mostly of those that generally suffer from lack of basic amenities and necessities required to pursue a good education, are put in charge to take care of family at a very early age or lack of food , clothing and shelter or some equally horrendous reason!
I am not saying that a few from the well-to-do families too may not come up with something different  and spectacular, but, in most cases,  it is “one in a million situation”. No wonder then, that we suddenly see a student from the hutments topping in some board exams or doing something equally unexpected of him/her! As for the rest, we find they do exactly what is expected of them, ie the rich and funded class of children graduating from best technical or management  schools abroad, some others taking the age old professions of teaching, engineering, medicine etc etc, which they qualify for, after spending their best years of life with their heads in their books and the others digging into whatever they can lay their hands on, academically to “make a living”

Thus, while I agree, that the parents must “gift” our children their life to do what they they“will” to do and not live their life as per the “standard” norms, I must also stress on the point that, then there  is so much else in the environment  that  must simultaneously change to give every parent  that confidence , that whatever the child takes on, there will always be hundreds and thousands of “opportunities” for the child in that sphere, and at no point will the child feel despair or regrets about doing what they chose and set out to do. We, as parents, will always stand by our children in every walk of life, but we cant hold their hands till the end, can we? What  all parents want or ever wanted is the happiness of their children, not short-term but very long-term, ie until till life’s end,  and while nobody other than them would be happier to let the child have their own will. However,  given the present circumstances, they can only hope and pray for a  change of environment, conducive to suit the child’s “will” and hope to see and experience, all of that,  in their lifetime as well!!!